To set or preset…
Living with a house-husband has been a new experience for me. I have been used to being the ruler of my kitchen. Now I must share. Now I must acquiesce. One example….
Don loves to/needs to set the table for dinner hours before it is served and eaten. (I know, I’m lucky he helps and cooks!) He comes by that trait honestly. His mother for Holiday meals often has the table set a week ahead of that Holiday. She can though, because she has other space available. We don’t. Our kitchen table is not just for eating. I love to read the newspapers spread out over the table, or lay out all the cookbooks and compare recipes. etc.. And I love to pile stuff on the table(topic for another slice). Therefore he get teased often about presetting the table. And this presetting backfires on him when the granddaughters are here visiting. As soon as they see their place setting – “I’m hungry!” “When are we going to eat?” Their whining starts. They are ready to sit at the table and eat. So we’ve compromised. He can get the table ready to set by piling the dishware aside on the cupboard ahead of time! Thank goodness he listens well. Now if he would only stop criticizing my kitchen organization…
terierrol 
My mom was that way.It made me a little crazy, but it sounds as though you have worked out a good compromise.
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The chief cook should be the one to set the rules for organizing the kitchen. I would gladly relinquish my role of CEO of the kitchen, but until that time, I get to determine what goes where.
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